Ah those days of being care free, the days when you would dress however you wanted to. Eat whatever you wanted to without a tiny hand going in your mouth and asking what you eating? Thinking about the latest hair trend and thinking about getting it done. Be on the look out for new clothing trends. Remember the bell bottom trend in 1998, yeah what was that all about? or that teeny tiny shirt on that said bell bottoms. I sometimes cringe on the care free nature of mine wasting all that precious time and energy on such petty things. And especially the time when I used to have hobbies, now its cooking and baking because I do that so often since 2009, I might as well make it a hobby.
At the time no one says anything to you, you want to dress like a 70's model, wavy hair, tall and gangly with bell bottoms and a short shirt, sure why not. The minute you become a Mother, it feels like is a public sport. Oh you should not be doing that! or the my favourite, In my days I never used to do this, or oh you new kids come up with so many silly things, it was done like this when you were tiny and I raised 4 kids on my own and you are complaining about just one child. I don't understand why raising a child becomes a spectator event where everyone thinks its their right to comment on what ever you are doing and however you are doing it.
There are some things you should never say to a Mum, regardless of how many children she has, regardless of her children's genders too. On that note, I should tell you that its never easy being a parent, once you pop out a tiny human from your nether regions, you will never be the same. And parenting is never the same either, it changes from day to day. If you ask Mums, does it get easier? My answer is always, Nope! same shit different phase and season of life and different kind of awesomeness. Do not get me wrong its the most rewarding thing on the planet and if you are a believing Muslim, you will understand why He created heaven and said its under a Mums' feet.
That being said, dear reader, if you have never been in this position, or you have someone whom you feel could use a handy guide, I have put together some points NEVER to say to Mums.
1. Oh! what happened to you? you used to be so thin! How about we never say this to anyone shall we. Especially to mums who may be struggling with post partum weight and its never easy seeing yourself change so much over the course of just 9 to 10 months.
2. Oh my God! you have so much stuff ! Ah yeah Karen! (no offense to Karen) caring and being responsible for a tiny human is not going to be the easiest thing, you have to have everything but the kitchen sink with you when you travel, ANY WHERE. If it was feasible we would travel with a water tank and a sink with us at all times.
3. It takes you so much time to get ready. I will tell you why it takes me so much time to get ready, because every time I want to put on mascara, a child calls out MUMMMMMMM to get their shoes ready, their hair done. What do you have to do ? Sit there and knit ?
4. OOOH When are you going to have another one. None of your damn business!
5. Just one? dont you think he or she will want someone to play with ? Why dont you come around and play, seems as though you are very concerned about my child's social development.
6. All sisters, poor you! When will you have a boy? (this goes both ways btw) Until science invents the choice for us Mums to choose the genders of our unborn children, no I don't think I have any inclination to have another child of the opposite gender. By the way this is also very disrespectful to my kids as well. Keep away from them.
7. Your kids dont speak Urdu at all? How will they talk with us? To all bilingual parents, this is often the worst comment you can get. No matter how much you talk to your child in your language, if they do not live in a country dominated by your language they will not talk fluently in that language. The only answer I give is, may be they dont want to talk to you. Or what I really want to say to them is, if you were a bit educated may be you could talk in both languages.
8. My kids cannot eat that, they are so fussy, how did you start getting them to eat all that ? How about you start eating what you want your child to eat, that way they will also eat it and not be fussy eaters. And how about not comparing them.
9. Your kids are on the healtheir side, they are girls you know, they need to be skinny ! How about no, they are healthy because I give them nutritious foods to eat and no girls dont NEED to be skinny, they need to be whatever they want to be.
10. One of your kid is darker that the others! Step away from my child and never come near me again.
11. Dont you think that kids are expensive? Yes they are and you will be spending all your wealth on them. That is why you should not be having them.
And my personal favourite !
12. I am never going to let my kid do that. *cue howling laughter* This will be met with pure hysterical laughter, its nothing personal, you just remind us of our younger, stupider sleves.
So there you have it folks a guide for what NOT to say to a Mum.
What would you like to add on to the list?
Love and Peace All